The remnants of the republican party, after the shambles Bush's cronyiusm and ligarchy left it in has been reduced to a party without ideas, it is a party of mere reaction, chauvinism and it is right now been reduced to the level the pre civil war antebellum south was. It can't reach out to any part of the country, it can't deal with modern realities and it is anti intellectual. Like the old south, it is completely anal, incapable of evolving beyond the good old boy buddy system of politicsand it willnot accept a world which disenfranchises such an arrangement. It is thereby announcing that it willfire on Fort Sumner and secede from the union. The defecit, the economic crisis willnolonger be its responsibility,it will be the north's,or the liberals who the remnants of the republicanparty will demonize as having caused all the problems anyway as a massive scheme to give tax cuts,particularly topoor nonworking uppity lazy niggers so the liberals can take over America and then let these uppity niggers rule over the white man who made this country and wh is only represented by the remnants of the republican party which is led by RushLimbaugh, Sarah Pailand and Sean Hannity. There is no world wide economic crisis, it is a liberalplot used to get a nigger into the white house to crush the true patriots of America who want to keep fighting in Iraq where there were weapons of mass destruction,liberal blogs are lying whren they say Saddam Hussein was not the threat toAmerica after 9-11. Like the recent rrepublican refusal to vote in favor of a stimulus planto try and create jobs in America and thus to create a flow of money in America and possibly create a middle class again, the republican party has taken an entirely adversarioal position to the America they are leaving. They will not even tell what their economy will be based on in their new nation, it is reputed they will retreat to the Ozarks intoTrailer Parks and live off money, the lords of the manor at least, in a feudal system off money they made off war profiteering during the bush administration, corruption unchecked and lobbying.In fact many of the WallStreet bandits that caused this crisis and got a bailout intend tomove to this new republican land with the bailout money, set up a feudaL SYSTEM NOT UNLIKE THE ANTEBELLUM SOUTH and the rest of the Americans who cannot accept the new system, the new America are welcome to move to these plantatatial manors and live in cottages as sharecroppers and they will be guaranteed a job even if it is largely subsistence and is based on the acceptance of a caste like class system where you will always be subservient to the family of wealth whose plantation you work on and there will be a nobility that willexist generation to generation, the first generation of course was the thieves who loted The former America in the Bush administration tobegin with. Nothing will change from here on, the liberals will be fought if they try to extend their nonreligious soveirnty over the republican America, but otherwise, as with the antebellum south innovation wioll be discouraged, science will be illegal and there will be little or no education even among the upper classes. Things will not change. And the defecit, and the economic tumult willbelong entirely to the devilliberals. And the republicans will follow Phyllis Schaffley's advice and have enough H bombs to destroy the rest of America, even themselves to guarantee the balance of power and their soveirnty.
The Republican Agenda announced for the economic crisis Title
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
The genocidal clown
There's this theory that I read in John D. Macdonald and thenin Phillip K. Dick that since humans have nonatural predators to speak of, there is really noway tokeepthe humanpopulation from expanding far beyond the capacity of the earth to hold all the human beings particularly as technology tames nature and medicine eliminates diseases. The predictions of Malthus would have to be right, ultimately there would be somany humans on the planet, they'd have nowhere tostand,insufficient food and they would die. The theory of which I speak is that nature periodically gags up from the gutter a Hitler or some other pathologicalphenomenn, what we call a mojnster, but what this negation actually does is live for war, murder and slaughter and this is how the excessive humanpopulation is kept from exploding, this is how nature keeps humanpopulation expansion in check. It produces psychopaths periodically who Friedman like take advantage of crisis situations to get power, ignite inpopulations from positions of leadership Hysteria and the result is wars, genocides, mass murders, horrors of all sorts, and this is how the humanpopulation on earth is kept from exceeding what the earthcan support. Crime on a mass scale, absence of conscience, mass hysteriathat killoff for instance in World WarII as many as 39,000,000 people, thus bringing down thepopulation of humans for several generations and preventing population explosions from causing Malthusian conditions. Monsters, John D. says in his Green Ripper novel come along to spread their madness because humans have no other way tolimit their population growth. Now imagine thepresent economic crisis which has spread around the world. In every country millions without jobs. Countries in huge debts unable to jumpstart their economies, unable to get loans to create infrastructure, unable to invest, businesses disappearing, jobs disappearing. The consequences? Social chaosis allover the world, starvation, we can't at present even guess how it all will end, we just know we have reached a point where evenour subsistence needs are exceeding our resources, and the end result can only be catastrophes of different forms. Will this count as one of those times when human population will be limited from expanding to Malthusianproportions. One can guess it'll get that bad. And what was the cause of this. What was the negating force that will destroy human civilization, security and probablydestoy large blocs of human population. Was it a monster?A Hitler. No it wasn't. The comic element of all this is the realfault of this disaster can al;most exclusivelly be laid at the feet of a single dolt who stubbornly insisted he could run the most powerfulcountry in the world, and when he got that position, he initiated policies that Inspector Clouseau of the Sourette probably would not have put into practice. Clouseau might have done some pratfalls, but its doubtful he would have done things like cut taxes to the very rich while fighting two wars thereby running upa huge defecit. Its doubtful he would have destroyed the american middle class by encouraging corporations to shipjobs overseas thereby leaving us with an economywithout consumers. Its unlikely he would have so dereuglated the stock market to the point where he called a Ponzi scheme like Enrn while it was ripping off California one of Amrica's free enterprise success stories, even as it caved in andd took billions of people's pensions away. Its unlikely he would have let allof wall stree follow the Enronlead after Enron, doing similar questionABLE BUSINESS PRACTICES AND CALLED HIS ECONOMY A COMPLETE success WHENIT WAS JUST ABOUT TO CAPSIZE INTO A GREAT DEPRESSION AS HIS ADMINISTARTION ENDED,ONE SOBAD NEARLY EVERY MAJOR BANK ON wALL STEET FAILED AND HAD TOBE BAILED Out. Its unlikely he'd have let housing scams go so farthat banks cmpletely froze up, went bankrupt, still can't loan any money and this would cause worldwide collapse of industries that reled on investments in supposed solid legitamite companies.Its unlikely he would not have had a clue any of this was happening at allwhen he's supposed tobe the Ceopresident. Wait Clouseau might have done that last one, him and Bush do have an incredible self deceiving narcissism in common.Whowould have thought, whowould have thoughtthast the force of negation we had to fear next, hitting us like a monsoon would not come fromnuclear missles or any predictable madness, but simply be the product of a dunce whosomehow wriggled his way to a positionin a million years he should never have held. It's black comedy for sure, and not even Terry Southren or Celine could have cme upwith cosmic human absurdity on this level.A clown, a fucking buffoon with a 91 IQ who can't be convinced he's wrong ever. Unprecedented.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
It was brutlly cold, the wiknds cut through you and the cheap jacket ou had on didn't repel any of it. People take drugs because they can't handle harshnessand they didn't get nrtured enough as a child. They got thrown out in the world without adequate reassurances, their mother never made it sothey could take for granted they'd always be safe, that they were special, they were blessed and allthe horrible things in the world were either out of sight or could be urned off by a T> V> changer or called weird or rejected, those things didn't exist, they weren't real, you were, you and all the things like security blankets you could clutch ontoand feelsafe under, they were the things that existed. The closest thing ugly shit ever came to you was seeing something like commercialsd of starving people in Africa, and your capacity for suffering was so stunted, your entryinto the world, your progression from expulsion from the womb was so incomplete there was no way you could understand any of that, there has to be a place where you got hurt where your mom dropped you that irrationally acts upwhen you see sich pictures for them tobe anything but opaqu, the equivelant of an ordinaryperson looking say at an abstract expresionist painting,”it don't mean nothing,its just scribbling, a child could do it.”None of the patterns of logic dictated by pain desire, none of them have been developed in you so you can't unravelit,its in a languuage you can't translate, its a cipher, its not even interesting, it doesn't even engage your attention, the only things that engage your attention is the feeling of arms around you that are omnsciently guaranteed never to drop you, they are the whole world, or if they aren't what of the world you can see beyond themyou see throufh the filter of their all encompassing selfless security YOU are the reasonthey exist. People get born this way and they never start to feeklthe slightest pull of responsibility on them by life til they start aging and even the demandsof this coveted position can start to present a burdenon them, everyone ages. Then they get cranky and they expect mother, a world that's always blessed them to hold their burden even tihter so the little bit of weight they had to exert to exist evenin this condition can be lessened. That's whyold people get so unendurable sometimes, their simply isn't anyone or anything that can remove the burden of their condition to the extent they need, ther's only so much entitlement, so much codependence anyone can give another person, and as they get older and their need exceeds the maximum codependence they can get they become chronically bitchy. Addicts aren't born with any nurturing and then they are thrust into war zones, torture chambers places of constant helplessness and the constant violation of primal terror. This is what the world is to them anongoing barrage of artillery of anxiety that overdoses the mind into nonfunctiong and screaming for what=something they never had and have no reason to believe even exists in the world, they believe there's a God or a mother but in their world view, it isn't somethinfg that protects or was put there to protct them, its a dark double that follows them everywhere and its only purpose is to undermine them, constantly violatwe them, particularly at moments when they have to feel that their next act is most guaranteed. At the moment their sure their next act has to be most Guaranteed,that';s the moment that black doubled that is alwayds encompassing then swallowing them consuming themin flames,thsat's the moment it will strike with the most merciless vengeance, the most pitiless assauslt, and the addict knows one thing, he has no defense whatsoever against the full measure of pain and anguish that's gonna envelope him to the point whrere the pain is so grat he just wishes to God he could never have been born he could fade to extinction where the dark being can't follow him, he wishes he never had existed. Thjat's where the drugs come in and man the more of them the better and youlove them like nothing else cause even if they are killing you and all they areis the mother who cradled people in nutring safety you never had in your abandonment, they areis the closest thing to the mrciful god, of course their not merciful, your walking around looking like a corpse from their ravagement, but they are the closest thing to the merciful God that nurtures others that you never experienced or can't even conceive of ot ever. He walked through the cold and he was running away from his kids on Christmas to score and allhe felt was pirranha bites slicing into him and along with it a sense of anxiety lifting, he'd be there,he'd have it, the money was ready, he'd cop, this hell would go away soon.
Bad time christmas time blues
Bad time christmas time blues
Thursday, January 1, 2009
I found her by the side of the road. Christ, gashes, cuts, right to the bone where her elbow was. Ripped skirt one of them arty bohemian things that reach to your ankles and got the scotch patterns on them. Her top ripped completely off a wool sweater and all you could see was a bra. Laying on her back moaning, holding her jaw whichlooked like it was moving like a broke one would, big blood trickle hardened toa galena like finish she'd been there a long time and the blood from her mouth had just hardened there.I went over to herr , I couldn't penetrate the haze of pain she was in, I wouldn't say she was unconscious, just unresponsive. I kind of had a lump inmy throat, did you ever see violation. Not vulnerability, violation, like a bird with a broken wing, it got a big time will tolive, but not the means.I bowed my head down and looked away from the skirt swathed around those bruised legs. Christ. I thought. She wasn't no ravishing beauty, she was kind of a prep looking girl, a little chubby in the stomach, it wasn't a scene that titil;ated at all.It was a scene like coming upon a car crash and being there wellin the aftermath when you could make out all the aftereffects and absorb them really deeply and fully and seeing the damage it did to the cars made you cring because you could feel the force of the impact, but seeing what it did to the people as they were grimly pulled from the wreckage, that went throughyou, like a sudden moment where your wind pipe was cut off for some reason and you suddenly discovered you couldn't breathe, and as you fought for it, for the reassurance, your breath wouldn't come back and panic started to come and this awful feeling came over you that not only canyou die in a second, man you were goingto, you couldn't even yellout for help, you were a mouse's.voice, you weren't even that, you were mute, a shadow a hole, you didn't exist at all, you couldn't register your humanneed for contact on any radar screen another human would see, you were strangling man, dropping away and you couldn't find nothing to stand on it was all a big ayss as the conscuiodness swoped out of you. You looked down at her and she got more distant and more and more dissolved and you felt yourself not occupying the same plainof reality as her, you more and more occupied no plane of reality and the seperation between you and her became infinite and the wider it got the less of you there was and that includes awareness of yourself or of her or the world she existed in, the only awareness left as it all disintegrated as your distance from yu and hrr grew was the abyss and you were becoming it. I guess its guilt, I guess thats what I'm talking about here, some guilt frommy past, lodged inmy unconscios, I can't ever own up to so whenever I approach it annihilation is always my fate again.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
It was brutlly cold, the wiknds cut through you and the cheap jacket ou had on didn't repel any of it. People take drugs because they can't handle harshnessand they didn't get nrtured enough as a child. They got thrown out in the world without adequate reassurances, their mother never made it sothey could take for granted they'd always be safe, that they were special, they were blessed and allthe horrible things in the world were either out of sight or could be urned off by a T> V> changer or called weird or rejected, those things didn't exist, they weren't real, you were, you and all the things like security blankets you could clutch ontoand feelsafe under, they were the things that existed. The closest thing ugly shit ever came to you was seeing something like commercialsd of starving people in Africa, and your capacity for suffering was so stunted, your entryinto the world, your progression from expulsion from the womb was so incomplete there was no way you could understand any of that, there has to be a place where you got hurt where your mom dropped you that irrationally acts upwhen you see sich pictures for them tobe anything but opaqu, the equivelant of an ordinaryperson looking say at an abstract expresionist painting,”it don't mean nothing,its just scribbling, a child could do it.”None of the patterns of logic dictated by pain desire, none of them have been developed in you so you can't unravelit,its in a languuage you can't translate, its a cipher, its not even interesting, it doesn't even engage your attention, the only things that engage your attention is the feeling of arms around you that are omnsciently guaranteed never to drop you, they are the whole world, or if they aren't what of the world you can see beyond themyou see throufh the filter of their all encompassing selfless security YOU are the reasonthey exist. People get born this way and they never start to feeklthe slightest pull of responsibility on them by life til they start aging and even the demandsof this coveted position can start to present a burdenon them, everyone ages. Then they get cranky and they expect mother, a world that's always blessed them to hold their burden even tihter so the little bit of weight they had to exert to exist evenin this condition can be lessened. That's whyold people get so unendurable sometimes, their simply isn't anyone or anything that can remove the burden of their condition to the extent they need, ther's only so much entitlement, so much codependence anyone can give another person, and as they get older and their need exceeds the maximum codependence they can get they become chronically bitchy. Addicts aren't born with any nurturing and then they are thrust into war zones, torture chambers places of constant helplessness and the constant violation of primal terror. This is what the world is to them anongoing barrage of artillery of anxiety that overdoses the mind into nonfunctiong and screaming for what=something they never had and have no reason to believe even exists in the world, they believe there's a God or a mother but in their world view, it isn't somethinfg that protects or was put there to protct them, its a dark double that follows them everywhere and its only purpose is to undermine them, constantly violatwe them, particularly at moments when they have to feel that their next act is most guaranteed. At the moment their sure their next act has to be most Guaranteed,that';s the moment that black doubled that is alwayds encompassing then swallowing them consuming themin flames,thsat's the moment it will strike with the most merciless vengeance, the most pitiless assauslt, and the addict knows one thing, he has no defense whatsoever against the full measure of pain and anguish that's gonna envelope him to the point whrere the pain is so grat he just wishes to God he could never have been born he could fade to extinction where the dark being can't follow him, he wishes he never had existed. Thjat's where the drugs come in and man the more of them the better and youlove them like nothing else cause even if they are killing you and all they areis the mother who cradled people in nutring safety you never had in your abandonment, they areis the closest thing to the mrciful god, of course their not merciful, your walking around looking like a corpse from their ravagement, but they are the closest thing to the merciful God that nurtures others that you never experienced or can't even conceive of ot ever. He walked through the cold and he was running away from his kids on Christmas to score and allhe felt was pirranha bites slicing into him and along with it a sense of anxiety lifting, he'd be there,he'd have it, the money was ready, he'd cop, this hell would go away soon.
Bad time christmas time blues
Bad time christmas time blues
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Sending Out
They got Christmas Carols playing out of hiddenspeakers ,Ican't see where the speakers are, probably the same place the cameras are that watch the street through staticy eyes, then beam it back to the tiny little abandoned buildings the cops use as substations, there ain't no tax base for patrolling cops,sothey got fat womenand shit sitting around eating donuts and drinking dunkin donuts cofee from the 24 hour dunkin donut's stand that sits on the edge of the Ghetto. Somebody is buying, destroyed abandoned houses where people have long been evicted from and allt hey use them for, not the city of courdse, the drug dealers use it to to store caches of weapons they buy legally at gunshows,steet sweepers,semi automatics and a pump, and the drugs that come down the 222 south channel interstate from the harbors of New York tosupply this little factory town located in the centerof Pa,. A region James Carville called Alabama, but then maybe he just ain't never been in the innercities of the towns that dot Alabama, cause they look suspiciously like every otheer inner city in America with60,000 or more people stuck in them, They look like Houston 5thward or New Orleans 9th ward before God Bush let the infidels that lived there drown, it looks like really anyother splotchof rot that's been abandoned by jobs , a tax base and left tojunkies living in abandoned houses. It looks like a war went through here and the rich people whohave been frittering away their tax cuts on increasing our defecit to black hole in space proportions, don't likely have no Mashall Plan waiting in the works to fix it up. Cept maybe they do,look at some of these formally decrepit houses with shingles dangling off the side clinging to the paintpeeling mortar walls by a twisted and rusted nail, the roof caved in from on top and fell intothe bathroom it was above, somebody is buying these places up levelling them and trying to put in these phonylooking colonial row homes with window gardens hanging from the sills and that shit they do to bricks to get the grime off them and make them look rough and pristine, they spray all that high volume of water straight on them til the surface of the bricks chip into dust and covers the sidewalks below. Then they're putting in the master touch, them phony ass glass lantern looking things that look like the thing Paul Revere carried yelling one if by day two if by night, only these fuckers light up from a switch inside and are electric. Its called revitalizing the city, upgrading the truly disastrous parts in the hopes of making them attractive enough to entice upscale buyers to buy into one,move in, regentrification, is that the word, then as they all get filled ,upyuppie and professional culture, business establishments that cater to the tastes of suchpeople will move in and a tax base will be created that can pay for decent public schools, the city will be salvaged from the oblivion it has been long lost to. You walk by these houses and chiming soothing christmas music is playing from some source you cannot locate , but it joins the nip in the December air and brings back into you all the poignant yearnings of a time gone by and a time when things were simpler and more sentimental. Noone has moved into these houses yet, the kitchens aren't even done, but from the outsides the edifices look like a defiant statement by the city against all the forces of chaosis and crime and despair and swooning ugliness that have made the city an eyesore for so long{a nose sore too if you can down by the creek and smell what that paper company did doit before it moved to Mexico without warning, leaving a 1000 employees standing outside locked gates on a Monday morning while their place of employment was literally slipped ut of town while they rested and watched Penn State football}. The church up the street from this neighborhood of reclamation and hope ripping the city away from the hands of hordes of barbarians that have possessed itt so long as cops cowered in front of screens, not daring to patrol, there aren't many cops and there's lots of guns and more shootings and at least 30 street gangs as young as 15 , some thoroughly packing, and shooting at anything in sight,including passing vehicles which seldom venture in here after dark, they do not want to be the object of some youth's target practice as his bullet creases right through an oncoming windshield as a quaking driver dives to the passenger side laying down and glass explodes all over him and hordes of kids laugh and open fire til the inert vehicle looks like that bus Clint Eastwood drove in the Gauntlet, the one with about 10,000 bullet holes in the makeshift armor he wrapped it in ,only cars that make the mistake of driving through here at night when the street sweepers are out and gunning sounding a little like the sound of amplified grit teeth, they don't have all that armor like Clint did, hell, we don't even supply our troops in Iraq with that stuff and our president visits the men who have had their legs blown off because they don't have it all the time in the hospital. Ah yes, the church up from the regentrified area of town.A piece of spiritual inspiration written on one of those glass covered signs that are mounted on bricks, the glass comes out, theres this corrugated white shit in there you can fit black letters on, change the message as you please. It says “Courage is fear with Prayer.” I think courage is when you've lost absolutely everything , which is when you die, so I don't have the ultimate courage, but having almost died quite a few times , I'd say for fear to enter me Death would probably have to buggar me next time, what am I talking about, it did that a long time ago, its why I'm a fucking addict, I can't get enough buggering, there we got that straight. A block away, now here really is a landmark, the strip bar the founding fathers of town stopped trying to zone away along time ago, I mean wouldn't you. Now there's aplace for the truly lonely and desperate souls in there.No needle junkies may dance, Christ they shoot upbetween their thighs, only crack whores, and they look like aids victims. Those shriveled bodies, those shrunken heads, and those pedophile tits. You go in there , copa feelof boney thigh, in your trench coat, get blown along side the place where the Honerywell plant stone alley is, plant ain't open, just a big ominous thing, silhouette in the night, get a ghastly blow job, give the money to a fiend with more of an appetite for drugs than Dracula got for blood and so little flesh left on her its stretched over her like a Nazi concentration camp commandant's lampshade and she runs off into the night, that blow job made you lonelier than Christmas in an abandoned house with the wind whistling through it like through two rotten teeth that throb every time it passes throughthe gap between them, lonely, Mr. Blow Job, man he can't find human companionship anywhere,like a junkie looking at an OD needle,helooks down the barrel of many of the registered handguns floating around the city and takes it right in the eye and falls back over his legs thrashing around til he's still, and then a wild rottweiller comes up and licks his dead unshaven face.I walk through here all the time wandering when in the hell are the yuppies, the upscales that made their pile on Wall street gonna come through here and move in and save us all, but then I see in the newspaper DowJones down 700 points, Wall Street in line asking for a bailout from a government that's bankrupt. The jokes on somebody, sure as hell ain't on me.I didn't believe in anyof you motherfuckers ever, right from the beginning and like I said Death gotta get pretty close to me to make me scared.Me and Death are down with each other.
Dear Editor,
I am an unpublished writer, I got a blogger space called YorkNoir. Basically,I write stories about the underside of a factory town where there are no factories left and most of the people who live here are three generations from any idea of middle class stability. I write about stuff no one else is likely to see from a perspectivethat no one is likely to have.It takes a long time to get my perspective, you aren't born with it. I write in a startling, disturbing, original language that's suitable for the kind of gritty stories and sardonic social commentary I specialize in. I love to be ironic in a brass knuckles way. This is the underground I'm doing, from ground zero, so its raw and I'm sure its fresh.
Thank You for reading this,
Dear Editor,
I am an unpublished writer, I got a blogger space called YorkNoir. Basically,I write stories about the underside of a factory town where there are no factories left and most of the people who live here are three generations from any idea of middle class stability. I write about stuff no one else is likely to see from a perspectivethat no one is likely to have.It takes a long time to get my perspective, you aren't born with it. I write in a startling, disturbing, original language that's suitable for the kind of gritty stories and sardonic social commentary I specialize in. I love to be ironic in a brass knuckles way. This is the underground I'm doing, from ground zero, so its raw and I'm sure its fresh.
Thank You for reading this,
Thursday, November 27, 2008
being alone
I hate to hear you cry
Thehuman race is nothing but a big waste
The best die by their own hand
The others make the compromises I mad tobuy a few more wretched years on this earth... total immersal head first in a garbage pile with nothing at the end of the tunnel but a more unendurable smell
And to stay alive, hell gravity pulls you down into it til you're completely covered and you just keep going in deeper the funk all you can breath
What kind of creature is mutated out of an environment thatis always getting less impue do you want to even look at yourself anymore do you even want totry aren't you getting more and more tired isn't there getting tobe less and less to be interested in less and less tobe inspired by less and less tobe in awe of more and more tragedy more and more to have your heart broken by how hard is it to hold yourself together as it keeps coming at you headonnauseating collision heart breaking into smashed glass, smithereens how hard is it for you to imagine what that heart looked like before how you felt like when you were young and healthy and the air flowed through you innocent and fresh and pure and your body repondedto life to everything it saw and every hill, every horizon hd a new eperience a new magic touchlying just over the other side of it as the breezes fluttered your hair like her hand when it wasn't forbidden when you weren't rot from the center devastaation standing at the bottomof a lonely forgotten pit the wall so enlosed on you you are barely squeezed in looking up looking up and all you can do is imgine whats up ther now rank stench fills your lungs every day you feelmore bured alive
Why maintain/
Selfishness would be the worst motive of all that you'd slit your mother's throat tobuy another putrid second of this life
Cowardicethe more holw inside you get the more you can feel whatlies beyond and the more scared you are tomake that final leap into release
Which one is it sage
You're crying about what youlost and will never get back
I can't bear to see you cry
Its so unfair
Dreamless and alone in this ever compressing ever meaningless world
That you can see less of every second
Yeah itsa grave your in and the distractions to keep you from knowing it get more and more uninteresting
I can tell because you cry more
Its all you do.
Thehuman race is nothing but a big waste
The best die by their own hand
The others make the compromises I mad tobuy a few more wretched years on this earth... total immersal head first in a garbage pile with nothing at the end of the tunnel but a more unendurable smell
And to stay alive, hell gravity pulls you down into it til you're completely covered and you just keep going in deeper the funk all you can breath
What kind of creature is mutated out of an environment thatis always getting less impue do you want to even look at yourself anymore do you even want totry aren't you getting more and more tired isn't there getting tobe less and less to be interested in less and less tobe inspired by less and less tobe in awe of more and more tragedy more and more to have your heart broken by how hard is it to hold yourself together as it keeps coming at you headonnauseating collision heart breaking into smashed glass, smithereens how hard is it for you to imagine what that heart looked like before how you felt like when you were young and healthy and the air flowed through you innocent and fresh and pure and your body repondedto life to everything it saw and every hill, every horizon hd a new eperience a new magic touchlying just over the other side of it as the breezes fluttered your hair like her hand when it wasn't forbidden when you weren't rot from the center devastaation standing at the bottomof a lonely forgotten pit the wall so enlosed on you you are barely squeezed in looking up looking up and all you can do is imgine whats up ther now rank stench fills your lungs every day you feelmore bured alive
Why maintain/
Selfishness would be the worst motive of all that you'd slit your mother's throat tobuy another putrid second of this life
Cowardicethe more holw inside you get the more you can feel whatlies beyond and the more scared you are tomake that final leap into release
Which one is it sage
You're crying about what youlost and will never get back
I can't bear to see you cry
Its so unfair
Dreamless and alone in this ever compressing ever meaningless world
That you can see less of every second
Yeah itsa grave your in and the distractions to keep you from knowing it get more and more uninteresting
I can tell because you cry more
Its all you do.
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